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Even though rejection has followed me throughout my life, I don’t like to be trapped in it. It’s not something I even like to talk about because I don’t like to dredge up those feelings of hurt. If I don’t actively keep my eyes focused on The Lord, I find myself judging myself with negative talk and nobody has time for that!

The reason I share today is to bring hope.

Looking back at my life, I can clearly see how rejection had a strong hold on me. Because of this, my emotions and how I viewed things became altered. I had myself convinced that absolutely no one would truly love me….the chances of them leaving my life were large so I was always guarded.

That was so hard for a person who honestly loves people.

I would try so hard to be the best I could be, but it was never good enough when I looked in the mirror. My trust issues were started at a very young age and the older I got, those issues intertwined into my relationships.

In my early twenties, I started to draw closer to God. Do you think all of those feelings just fell off from me because I went to church? I wish I could say that they did. Here I was this young girl getting ready to become a mom for the first time and trying to figure out who God really was in my life. It was so hard for me to truly trust Him. I didn’t know what that even felt like.

As I write this today more than 20 years later, I am amazed at how much He has used the absolute most painful parts of my life to help someone who is stuck. This is truly how He healed me. When I would share my story with someone who was completely broken and see a slice of hope flicker in their eye, a layer of my past would fall to the ground. I had many layers. In all honesty, I believe we all have past hurts that we bring into our relationships. This is why we hurt one another…not intentionally, just because we are acting from that emotion.

I will be transparent for a moment and share with you one of my layers. I was given up for adoption at birth and have always had the greatest desire to have a relationship with my birth mother. I would write poems about her, I would dream about her, and I thought about her most days. I don’t like to ask for things at all, but this is the one thing I would pray for over and over throughout my life. To make a long story short, I decided to do a DNA kit and purposed it in my heart that I would find my birth parents in 2017. I made a Facebook post and it was shared so many times with the hopes of finding this missing piece of myself. Well, the DNA kit worked! I had my father’s name in 3 months and a month after that, my mother’s name. I was OVER THE MOON! After almost 42 years of wondering “my” moment was here!

Except it wasn’t.

Let’s take a short pause…I know you can tell where this is going, but I don’t want anything that I say to reflect badly on either one of them. I have no judgements in my heart against them. Remember I am writing this so you can feel my side, but just remember they have their own story as well…

So as you’ve probably figured out already…Neither of them would like to meet me at this time. While that completely devastated my excitement initially, I fully understand now. It took me really having to examine myself because instantly that rejection wanted to grab ahold of me yet again, BUT GOD WAS STRONGER. He wrapped His loving arms around me and reminded me that I was His daughter first. That He chose me and that I was good enough. It quieted the lies and allowed me to truly be able to pray for their hurts and see it from their perspective versus just my own.

I still believe I will one day get that reunion. Even though it’s what I want right at this very moment, God knows better so I pray and ask Him to guide me. Daily!! My birthday is in a couple of days and that always seemed to be a day that I dreaded. Not anymore!! I am going to celebrate me! I am thankful I was able to be granted life…What a gift my mother gave me. She sacrificed her own feelings to bring me into this world. I can’t even imagine what she felt or how scared she was. So my prayer is completely on God restoring her. I mean she may not think of me as often as I do her, but I’m sure sometimes she does and instead of feeling sadness, guilt, or hurt…I’m praying for God to overflow in her a feeling of acceptance and SO MUCH love.

Being free from a binding past is a huge milestone as it allows you to lay down those hurts and for me only God had the strength to break those chains in my life.

Look forward my friends!! We are not meant to be stuck in our past hurts! God has so much more for you…you just have to walk towards Him! When you feel that ugly feeling of rejection remember that you are indeed accepted JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!

Much love 💕

When the unexpected comes it has the ability to change the course of things. Even though today was inconvenient, I know God walks before me and His outcome will be perfect for me.

Yesterday I noticed some pretty significant redness on the skin surrounding my implant. This would make sense on the biopsied side, but this was the other one so I was baffled. I prayed about it and although the thought of ignoring it sounded ideal, I knew that my surgeon would probably need to see it because it surely didn’t look normal. By the end of last night it had changed pretty quick in appearance and it was starting to feel a bit more painful so I sent a couple of pictures (😳) through the portal and tried to sleep…that didn’t happen!!

They called me just as I was starting my work day that they wanted to see me As soon as I could get there. So Brad and I took a road trip not knowing what to expect, but expecting the best!

The good news is that it’s not infection and that I didn’t need to be instantly hospitalized. Gosh I am so thankful for that!!!!

However it is clear that my implant not only migrated out of its pocket (what we already knew) it decided to travel downward and is placing its residency where it doesn’t belong!! It is pulling downward and that bugger is making things feel uncomfortable at times.

They have no idea what to expect as to how long my skin (that area particularly) will hold this implant as it is very thin in this area. However my surgery (the one planned for June) takes up a full day so there are no earlier days to get me in sooner as of now. They have the scheduler trying to see what she can do as far as shuffling others but nothing is set in stone as of yet.

So in the meantime we wait to see how my body reacts. If my skin breaks down more it becomes an emergency and surgery will happen that day….even if they couldn’t do the full surgery it would have to at least get the implants out and we would have to figure out the rest. In the meantime I have to lay flat every chance I get and try to defy gravity 😆

I’m not quite sure what that looks like while I am working….or driving!!! 🤣

So please if you could, pray for God’s will. He knows the perfect day for this surgery and I am resting in His promise. This is the exact reason He says to not look ahead and worry. When the day arrives, He will prepare me AND my family. In the meantime I will not fear the storm, even when I hear it roar.

Much love 💕

When you are consumed with peace, facing things is so much easier. I feel led to share my medical game plan, although keep in mind a miracle can happen at any moment and change this whole course. I am SO MUCH believing for this!! In the meantime I will be strengthening myself (mostly spiritually) so that if push comes to shove, I will be ready! I feel healthy and I’m so grateful for this renewed strength!

It’s been almost three years since this all began. Although my body has literally been through a war, there was so much I gained. I learned very quickly that this trial was not about me. As I shared every leg and detail of this journey sometimes feeling a tad vulnerable, He brought so many people into my life. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. My testimony is health and I will continue to share with joy in my heart as he continues to walk me through. I can’t allow the why’s, the fears, the how’s, or the pity to take ahold of my mind. Nope. No way!

Here is where we are currently:

(If talk of medical/implants bother you, this is where you can stop reading😊)

Ok…deep breath….

I am facing another surgery…it was not what I was expecting at all and I was initially upset because currently I am feeling SO good and doing SO well rebuilding my strength. I then realized how this strength will work in my favor!! So since I can only focus on today, I will use these days until my surgery to get strong!!! I’ll think about the other details another day 💕

Ok…the details…On June 21st, I will be having a DIEP procedure which is a microsurgery to take out both implants and the skin surrounding them and replace it with a section of my stomach. The micro part of this surgery is where my surgeon will use the arteries in my stomach and attach them to the spot where the implants once sat. Since all of my tissue was removed during the Masectomy, now parts of my tummy will fill in those spaces.

The short version of this long process as to how we arrived to this point is two-fold: On the right side there was a solid mass we have been following for almost 5 months. I had a percutaneous core biopsy performed to see if the surgical oncologist needed to be part of this surgery. Even though my awesome doctor here had a peace with watching/waiting approach…and so did I by the way…..I understood that they needed to know before going in.

Well I am beyond thrilled to report that the results came and it is benign!!! I am so thankful! Looking back, my biopsy wasn’t even painful. There were times it was uncomfortable due to the pressure, but no actual pain. It could be because of the numbness I have there….the only thing I had to deal with (the day after) was pain in my shoulder/back which I believe came because of the position I was in for so long.

My bandages are off and I have realized that they must have taken enough tissue during the biopsies that my lump is almost gone! 👏🏻

So with all of that going on on the right side, my other issue is what’s going on with the left side. My left implant has fallen out of its pocket once again and feels much different than it should. We are praying and hopeful it hasn’t leaked, but we are certain they both need to be removed regardless. This will be the third time my body has booted them out so I made the very hard decision to remove them completely. The surgeon gave us his honest opinion that if we were to go a different route (replacing the implants) there was a great chance I would be back next year facing the same thing. That doesn’t sound like fun to me. These implants have reared their ugly heads too many times in my opinion and they have been very painful for me so I am more than ready to have them removed! Bye Felicia

They say it will be an 8-10 hour surgery and I will be in the hospital a few days. They also told me this is bigger than anything I’ve had thus far and my recovery will be long (did they forget I had a double mastectomy with immediate implants with two horrific infections?!) That recovery, even with my positivity was the hardest snippet of my life so you can see why it’s so important For me to stay focused on God’s promises! I believe the report of The Lord! I know hearing these things sound absolutely awful, but I also KNOW He is so ready to show off in my life again. However He chooses to do it, I will do my very best to stay focused on the positiveWhen your mind is renewed, you have the power to face anything. Even on the days, I have felt weary, He has never failed me. His love surrounds me and this is why I can face a storm with peace in my heart. I don’t like that my family will once again have to go through this, but I am certain He will have us grow closer than ever before. My prayers for them is that they will be strengthened throughout this process and see first hand the power of God’s love. Please don’t feel bad for me, I only ask for your prayers and positive thoughts!! Even though my storms have been strong, God has been stronger. He parts the sea so I can walk right through each one. This will be no exception. 💗

I am extremely grateful to be surrounded by loving people for you all bring me joy every single day. Thank you for the consistent support you have flooded me with!!

Much love 💕

Sometimes the greatest peace comes when you don’t have all of the answers.

A beautiful friend sent me a text that simply read, “Uncertainty is a beautiful thing, because it is a gateway to faith that goes beyond our intellectual understanding.”

If we really think about it, nothing is certain as things can change literally as fast as you can blink your pretty little eyes. You can be in a job you totally love and come in one morning to find they are shutting down, your health has the ability to halt your lifestyle as you knew it, deaths, divorces, babies, accidents….so many things can throw us off the path that we were perfectly content walking upon.

In my personal walk I have found God was the only certain. He remained when everything else crashed around me. He remained even when I felt abandoned. His truths are certain and they just happen to be my life map. The only way I can get from point a to b, the only way I can go forward instead of in circles.

Not knowing what may or may not be in our future can keep us grounded and that’s exactly what I need sometimes. I am learning to ask God what He wants to share with me today. I’m making it a point to focus only on today and tomorrow I will focus on tomorrow. He will give me exactly what I need for each day. Some days I need extra wisdom, some days it may be strength, but I’m so certain he knows how to arrange my daily platter. The great news is He doesn’t just give me only teaspoon doses, He gives abundantly. My platter is so full that once in awhile those gifts blend into each other…strength sometimes blends with peace. When mixed together it’s the most beautiful masterpiece. Only God can use a broken individual to show His love and just how miraculous His ways are.

In December I went to a pretty important doctors appointment which had the potential to ruin my forward walk. I could have easily thrown my hands up and proclaimed how over this I am, but instead I adapt my daily tasks and learn the true meaning of strength. I believe we all have those moments where we could let the hard times overtake us, but then what would your legacy be? There is always a way out, probably most of the time..not an easy way, but I believe that no matter what predicament you find yourself in, there is always a solution to untangle yourself and leave the mess in the past. Even if you have to ask for help….

Maybe the old version of me would look at having to ask for help as weakness, but today I see it as one of my super powers. I have learned the strength it takes to come out of my shell and share with others what I struggle with. Although there are things that are suddenly harder for me, there are equally just as many things that I can still do myself. Instead of focusing on the frustrations, I challenge myself to find the small gifts that I once overlooked. When I have to walk slower throughout my day, there is this gift…that I see more…things I may have missed at my old, faster pace. When I have to ask for help, instead of embarrassment, I choose to focus on the gift of conversation. We live in a generation where face to face communication is fading, but I’m a believer that everyone loves and needs those moments where we just stop running from one thing to another and just pause. Truly listen….when we do, we open our heart to what is happening around us. Many times our truest friendships are created when we are in our darkest moments. I am certainly blessed by the best of the best in that category! I have the most sincere, most loving people around me. One of my sweetest treasures for sure!!!!

They help me to see the beauty everywhere. I could easily be filled with depression and anxiety. Fear is always knocking on my door, but I refuse to pay any attention to it. Instead of the tears that could fall easily, I replace them with laughter… most of the time! There are moments that I have a personal pity party, but there are more moments that I find reason to laugh…most of the time at the expense of myself. When fear and sadness are relentless in their pursuit….when it gets loud and their growls and snares try to entrap me, I take action!

1 Thessalonians 5:16

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Many times it’s hard to find a reason to rejoice in the suffering seasons of your life.

How can a person find joy when darkness floods in?

The weight alone is enough to paralyze your senses.

The once strong individual is withered down to a simple existence. The beautiful eyes that saw the world as God sees now are only a sliver of what was. Not much light can get in when the ability to see is dulled. The heart that would pound so fiercely when spoken to, now beats slower and slower. The ability to hear God’s beautiful words and instructions are muffled.

How does this happen????
Because even the strongest people fall.

When I find myself in that state of mind that I can actually feel and see the darkness, I run to help! I speak to God, I pour out my thoughts to the people around me that I know have my best interest in their heart. I read, I listen….the senses that were dull start to slowly feel again.

I work with children who have severe disabilities. Some are unable to see, some are unable to hear, many are not able to speak in a language that is easy to understand, bound to chairs, tube fed….many things we take for granted. What I have learned is that even when one sense or organ is unable to function, the ones that are able to work, work overtime! To witness this first hand brings things into such a reality perspective. These children don’t pay any attention to what they can’t do. Their focus is on the smallest details. It is beautiful to see and their strength brings me such hope!! They don’t halt their forward motion, instead they work harder and their achievements are celebrated! Exactly the way God celebrates YOU!

What joy!!!! I will not allow what is placed before me to bind me up. In my heart, it’s not a coincidence that God placed me in this line of work. He knew many years ago, what I would face head on. He also knows me more than ANYONE. He knew that I would fail at times, He knew I would fall flat on my face. He knew I would pick up things not meant for me. He also knew I would see these beautiful children and draw from their incredible strength. I would share my story and He would have His way.

My hardest days are my most beautiful testimonies!

From my personal failures that I brought on myself to the pieces of my health that I have no control of, He has walked with me everyday. The days I focused on only the negative, He still was there, I just had my senses elsewhere. He used every single struggle and made it a victory! If I listed all that I have gone through medically the past three years, it would not make sense. It may bring pity to your heart for me and this is not what I want or desire. I do feel led to share one particular piece of my journey…..

I was struggling real bad. The sickness was overwhelming. My strength was fading and everything seemed hopeless and out of my control.

There was a time that I actually felt death. I knew with everything inside of me that my life was not going to be as long as I had thought. My husband (who is amazing) must have recognized this as well because he would stand beside my bed every single day and read scriptures to me. At first, sadly I couldn’t even feel anything as those scriptures were being read. It was like I was only an existence…my spirituality, my faith, my hope was dulled BIGTIME.

This was one of the scariest things I have gone through. I could see the pity eyes when people would see me. They would look at me with such sadness, like I was already gone. I remember this as clear as it was yesterday. I was losing my grasp…

Like I mentioned earlier, I have the most beautiful friends and one of them invited me to a women’s conference. She explained we had missed day one, but she felt going to the final day would be beneficial. Now picture this… I truly felt like death. Like trying to get myself ready was the equivalent of climbing a mountain. I wanted so badly to say no because the effort was so much to just get in her van. God had a different plan and He wouldn’t let me stop thinking of this. I know His voice and when He is relentless, I try to be obedient.

Well I somehow got myself ready. I’m sure I looked like something from the walking dead. I can’t even watch that show because it freaks me out so bad, but I honestly felt that I was dragging around a carcass of what I once was.

To make a long story shorter, the conference was great, however the ending was stellar!

This beautiful red headed speaker started to sing to people. Strangers she had never met and here she was singing prophetic songs to them. I cried just from the sheer beauty of being in this moment. I had no warning that my time was coming soon….

When she got to me, she didn’t sing a beautiful song to me.

Instead….She looked right into my eyes, held both of my hands and started to tear up.

Her words leapt in my spirit. Remember now, this Spirit was dull. Very dulled.

These words were spoken at the exact moment I needed to hear them and even on this very day when I battle with what I feel or what the tests show, these words are my map. They remind me how to shut the voice of fear off.

Let me share these words that literally changed my course.

“You may not have a head full of gray hair and a face full of wrinkles today, but I see you with gray hair and wrinkles rocking your grandchild in your arms.

The assignment of death has been cancelled from your life. You are going to live a long life.”

I could say nothing. The normal me would have joked about the gray hair or wrinkles to get the spotlight off from myself, but I was literally left speechless. I laugh when I try to remember how I must have looked. I have no idea what my outside appearance did, but inwardly my mouth was hanging wide open and my eyes were bugging out of my head.

I was floored. God knew that I was checking out and He had so much more for me to do yet. I may have been ready to give up fighting, but He has his way. He said, “Not yet!” He used a stranger to tell me!!!

MY GPS was rerouted!!!

How amazing. This is how you get yourself out of the pits….sometimes you don’t on your own. All it took was me to be obedient, He did the rest.

Looking back this moment was a ‘cross road’ moment. I could have thought that woman was nuts, what did she know about what I have gone through. However, my spirit came to life and I couldn’t deny that feeling. I knew her obedience mixed with mine had the ability to break this chain off from me! It was ultimately my choice though. I had the tools, but I had to actually pick them up and use them.

I had a very weak body and at first I needed a lot of help to even pick up those tools, but slowly my strength started to return and as the days passed, not only did my body start to regain, but some of my other senses started to come to life. I could hear again, first muffled, then like a radio playing softly….slowly that volume raised until the sounds were crystal clear.

My eyes, which could not see a good ending also went through transitions. From feeling blinded, to looking through a script that is not your own, the blurred lines transformed into the most perfect vision!

All of my senses, one by one started this upward climb and as I look back, I am still amazed at how desperately I was failing and yet He pulled me out. My pit was deep, I felt alone, helpless to ever see a brighter day, yet today here I am being reminded of how great he is!!!

So when I am faced with a trial, whether it be medically or financially. Job related or personal related, I know the faithfulness of my father.

I am blessed that I got to actually feel the promises of His word. Instead of just reading them, I actually have felt them. He walked with me and showed me by using these miracles to show just how true these words really are.

Thank you for supporting me! The messages I have received have sparked the innermost place of my heart. I love to be able to share little snippets of my walk. My hope is that it touches your heart!! My greatest desire is to use what was meant to destroy me (which didn’t succeed by the way) to bring hope to someone. No matter how hopeless things may seem, remember there is ALWAYS a way out.

Thank you Jesus for helping the broken-hearted. Refresh their senses and help them to see the way out of whatever trial they are in. Arrange their platter in Your most perfect way. Only you can transform broken into beauty and I thank you for all you’ve sacrificed. I ask that you bring hope to the ones who are seeking. Bless them Father. In Your Beautiful Name, I pray…Amen

Much love 💗

<<<<
n I look back I am reminded of how much He has brought me through. Abundant joy as I hold the hand of the one that I love 💕

As I sit here after 20 constant days of being ill, I reach to my Daddy. As you know, I have had my share. So when this came as a simple virus, I didn’t pay it any attention. I had been through so many major things, this was just a blip in the radar. However, this little bugger had gotten so strong that the medications proved worthless, time has also not helped. Yet again many words were spoken over me. Tough things to hear about yourself and your inabilities. Even though knowledge is a beautiful thing, it’s important to know how to decipher these words and find God in it. Sometimes when your body is struggling, it is hard to stand on the promises because your symptoms are the only thing you can focus on. The words spoken last night brought up the same doom that was spoken over me in December. I had some undesirable testing in the middle of that month and I won’t go into what I have been diagnosed with in my writing today because that’s not my label, but just to put things into perspective I will share a little bit. Yup, the tests showed things (yucky things that are NO FUN) and physically my body seems to read exactly as they say. However, I am blessed enough to have had miraculous healings in my past. I believe they are there to remind me of how capable He is. He is higher than any medical label! I stand not on what it looks (or feels) like, I will stand on His WORD! The world may call it denial, but I call it necessity to thrive. Even when I am unable to do certain things, He redirects me to a much easier way. Instead of looking at my disabilities, I focus on my ability to keep going! I am so blessed!!! I am aware I could probably fill out disability papers and get approved, but I absolutely love my job!! I want to work for as long as I possibly can for it honestly brings me absolute joy! My focus at work is on so much and therefore I don’t have time to wallow in my own trials. AMEN to that!!!

So many times I feel so similar to Job. I have lost so much in this world. What a surreal feeling it is to stand aside and see things fade away…money, health, hope, joy…At times I felt so robbed. As if I owned these in the first place. I had to be reminded that these gifts are from God alone and sometimes in my lackadaisical ways, He needed to remind me of this.

The word lackadaisical means lacking enthusiasm and determination; carelessly lazy. I dug a bit further and searched synonyms. Google is such a reliable friend! There were many to choose from, but the ones that hit me the hardest was spiritless, passionless, lukewarm, and half hearted.

Ouch

I simply used google to help me spell that word so that one day when my children read my many journals I will look so scholarly and yup, you guessed it! Google rescued me once again to spell that word correctly!! Haha. I never thought I would get a life lesson all in one word.

God never ceases to amaze me when I actually still myself to hear. The one positive thing I can draw out of feeling ill and being forced to rest is this.

Our lives are filled to the max with so many noises….family, work, sickness, drama, relationships, money, depression, LIES

This chaos binds us up and all I can picture is these chains wrapping around and around. They restrict any forward movement. The heaviness makes us feel weakened. Hope of a brighter day fades into a memory.

THIS IS NOT GOD’S BEST

His word sets all and I mean ALL captives free. Free from all bondage whatever your vise may be. He is more than enough to break it. Suicide, addictions, impurity, sickness. The most filthy thing you can think of or feel can be wiped clean as the snow by forgiveness. He is waiting for you to turn your back to the bondage and start seeking Him.

You will discover that the once dark path has speckles of light cascading down and as you put more and more trust in Him that light gets brighter and brighter and before you know it, that light is within YOU …BURSTING forth and now YOU are the helper to those still bound.

Whew!

This world is tough. Tougher than we are, but not tougher than Him. He gave us His armor to protect us when we battle because He knew how badly we would need help. You have to remember to use this gift.

In conclusion, I sit here and many desires fill my heart. There are a couple of things I bring to God many times. Like a revolving door there I am over and over asking Him for these same things. I may not understand how and why He does things the way He does, but when I look back through my past, I am reminded of just how much He has already brought me through and how perfect His ways were. Was it easy? NO WAY!! There were moments I felt I knew way more than He and I wanted this detail changed and today as I reflect I recognize that I would have made it harder. In fact, I have made things harder sometimes. I am trying not to run before Him, and instead learn how to follow. I do not want to miss the appointments that He has set before me. Whether they are at my job, in my ministry, while I am grocery shopping…whatever I decide to do and wherever I am, I want to recognize the hurting people because my heart leaps for joy when He flows through me to lift them out of the pit.

I am stubborn and so very thick headed – which can be both good and bad, but I am learning how to lay down my wants as He guides me onward. Just like Job, He lost so much and I can only imagine how hopeless he felt. I probably would have buckled. To feel so completely abandoned….I feel I can relate….

His story ended by getting back more than was taken which is exactly God’s promise. When you find yourself being stretched so thin and you feel like breaking, remember God is that strength needed to remain steadfast. Be still! It is in the stillness that we are able to hear. He talks to us always and gives us direction, but our ears are focused on too many other things to hear.

Today I am instructed to share something personal. I don’t normally share my journal between God and I. Let me explain…I put on music and just write what I hear. When I reread these words many many times they are the answers I so desperately seek. They are my ultimate treasure. Maybe I will share more, as He instructs. Today I will only share today’s. It may be words that help you as they did me. They are written by me, but are not my words. It sounds so completely crazy, trust me I get it! When I started doing this I was my biggest critic Until I realized they were a map for me. Sometimes I had no idea what it was for until many months later I was instructed to go back and reread certain entries. It was then that what I thought was crazy became something I couldn’t be without. His words are light upon my path.

Here is today’s words and you don’t have to read any further. I understand this was already long enough! That’s my style!!

Whatever you decide, here is a sample of what I call my golden key…

” I am in the valley and on top of that mountain. When you are drowning and gasping for breath, I am the ultimate preserver of life for I bring so much more. I bring fulfillment to your soul, the deepest crevices can be quenched by my Spirit. The desires of your heart are meaningful to me, but my responsibilities are what is needed for your growth in Me. Find your rest in Me first, and things will fall into place without even a thought. The way I see and you see is very different because I see far and wide. I see eternity. Your vision is mush shorter and much more narrow. You know what feels better in the moment, I know what’s best for your long-term. In all of your ways acknowledge Me. I bring the peace you desire. Let Me fill those desires your heart craves. Be patient while you see how I perform in your life. I am your Daddy and I want my daughter to be well in all her ways. Spiritually, Health, Joy, Trust, Peaceful and Filled with Love. I see the rejection you hold and I challenge you to release it to Me. Let Me replace that with My abiding love that will never ever reject or hurt you. You will never be placed to the side. I love you for exactly who you are. You are enough. Continue to let My Spirit flow through you. Your obedience and transparency is what sets the captives around you free. Let your reservations fall, don’t let them bind you. When you seek Me first, I am intertwined in these words. Share your heart and do not be afraid of anything for fear is not of me.”

The Lord your God is with you, the mighty warrior who saves.

Zephaniah 3:17

Ok it’s clear I love to write, writing helps me to see things. I hope you are feeling better than you were. God loves you exactly as you are! I talk to Him like I talk to my friend. I don’t need big words or anything fancy, He knows my heart. When I talk to Him, I feel heard. Sometimes all we need is to be heard. Try it! You may soon discover what a treasure this is!!

Much love 💕

Since the day I first learned I was adopted, I dreamed of locating my birth family. Who did I look like, what was my history? That longing has never left, sometimes it would get stronger, especially on my birthday and Mother's Day, but it was always a part of my heart.

I loved my dad and mom who raised me. I was adopted at a very early age so to me they very much earned the title of dad and mom. I will forever be a "Daddy's Girl" and I'm so thankful for both of them. They were always honest with me about what they knew and said they would support my decision to look if I ever felt led.

Over the years I would do small things…I guess you could call them mini steps in trying to search for my birth family. I would put my information on sites that had success stories of the "grand" reunion. I paid the court for papers that I was hoping could give me even just a slice of information. I would write poetry, my heart captured on a simple pieces of paper. I would dream, I would hope…eventually days turned to years and before I knew it I was a mother myself with three beautiful children. Even though my life was filled with a new kind of love, I still longed to know my beginning. Yes, my beginning is God and He is the one who ultimately created me, but I wanted to know my starting point here.

I started thinking of DNA kits a lot. I wasn't sure why they were in my mind, but I started researching them. When I did, I would get so excited to read the stories of how it worked for so many people. When the thoughts of these kits wouldn't leave my mind, I felt it was a path I was supposed to take.

I talked first with my husband and my children to make sure they would be okay with me doing this. They were excited so then I wanted to make sure my mom would be okay as well. Since my Dad is living with Jesus, I wanted her to feel secure and not have any hurts about this. I let everyone know that just because it was what I wanted, it didn't mean it was what everyone else wanted….remember that line…it may just come up later.

So I bought my kit on January 1, 2017 as my New Year's Resolution. The resolution was that I would find my birth family this year. It was one resolution I intended to keep!!! I made a Facebook post as well because now I have officially jumped on board here. I was ALL IN!! I was shocked when 6800 people shared that post! People would share it from so many states! It was bigger than I ever imagined it could be! My excitement was so high I could hardly lasso it! Immediately this "famous" Facebook post brought forth an individual who thought he was my brother. He went through a great friend of mine and I'm telling you, I became a cyber-stalker for the first time in my life. Now mind you, this particular friend of mine has A LOT of friends, but some miraculous way I narrowed it down and found this potential brother. Well now, this had me tearing through what I could see to find his parents and just because there were a couple of similarities, I was certain they were my family. I am horrified that I am admitting in a very public place that I even had their pictures saved on my phone in their very own album. This is how much I believed we had found them. When the stories didn't quite line up and I had to delete those pictures, I felt so many things from embarrassment to guilt to feeling let down that it wasn't them. Then the remembrance that I had literally stalked innocent people…well cyber stalking..not like legit stalking, but still I felt like a creep…so if you are that person, I am so sorry. I really am. I guess since you were the very first lead, I ran forward and I didn't look back! I'm sure if I saw you in person my face would register that I knew you because of how real that was!

On January 4th, I spit in the little container and said a prayer. I sent it off the next morning…it was literally freezing so I even googled if DNA can be read still if it freezes into a cube…Needless to say…it probably did freeze into a cube and they were still able to give me results. 😲

I checked that ancestry app of mine so much! How long was this going to take? Didn't they understand I had waited forever for this information? I totally was sympathetic to all those who waited for their results before me and even to all of those going after me! Waiting in this particular moment was grueling!

Finally in the beginning of March, I received an email that my results were in!! I opened it and I was so confused. Since excitement trumped just about every other thing at that moment, that was just a minor detail so I poured over what I could figure out in my own small knowledge about DNA.

This little chart didn't do too much, but it was the first piece that I had to my puzzle. It may not have been the corner pieces that I needed, but eventually all of these random pieces would make sense…at least I hoped so.

I found that ancestry had located many cousins and one of which was a 1st cousin. I tried to contact them letting them know they were a match, but that I literally knew nothing other than that. When I realized that these messages weren't going anywhere, google once again was my helper. I had to have a subscription…Well thankfully there was a free trial so I signed up and the very next day I was contacted by a cousin.

It was cool to read things as she was trying to figure out who I was in the family. Well it sure didn't take her more than a couple days and she messaged me that she not only knew who my biological father was, but she had spoken to him!

Okay, as much as I want to share the amazing details, I can't at this time as I respect the privacy of both my biological mother and my biological father.

I will say the way I learned of who they were was pretty amazing and God is weaved throughout this story. Maybe someday I can share the unbelievable way that these connections were made!

When I first learned of who my biological mother is…. I was nervous because I had already gotten myself let down from the first people whom I thought were my bio family. Well, that fear was put to rest when I was sent pictures of her from her high school yearbook.

I will share this one particular story…it was a Sunday evening and I remember I was laughing with my husband and my girls. Although I can't remember why we were laughing so hard I just remember laughing as I looked down at my phone that had just dinged. The picture sent to me made that laughter turn to tears in one second. It probably looked pretty awkward as I went from laughter to crying, but I was staring at this picture that looked just like me! For the first time in my life I looked like someone other than my very own children! My heart grew at that moment. This was her and there was absolutely no way anyone could deny that!

So yes, I know who both my biological mother and my biological father are. I have been blessed to know some details about the extended family and I know that they have both been contacted about me. At this time, there has been no grand reunions, and although this is something I have been searching for, for as long as I can remember, I am content knowing what I know. Just because it is something I want, doesn't mean it's what someone else may want…. I told you that line would come up again 😉 I have written my biological mom a letter, but I haven't mailed it…maybe it was written more for my healing…I'm not quite sure…maybe that will be another page in my book.

I know that this story isn't over. I believe this with all of my heart. However it plays out, I am thankful for the chapter I am in right now. Whenever I think about this man and woman who gave me life, I pray for them…I pray that if my existence brought pain into their life, that God would reward them now for the sacrifices they made way back then, especially my birth mother who carried me for nine months, still a young girl herself. An unselfish act that I will forever be grateful for. 💕

What drives you? No matter my age…no matter what stage of life I was in, it seemed that I was always struggling with finding my purpose.

Since I am just one small voice in this beautiful world, One teeny tiny voice in this melody of life…A voice I hear all the time…why in the world would anyone even care what I think, what I feel, or what my opinions are?

How can the little things I do even make a difference?

I am a huge believer in being an encourager. Sometimes being reassured is more powerful than the words being spoken. Sometimes it gives you the jump you need when you have stalled out. In a world full of judgement, I know that a small token of encouragement has the ability to change the course!

So many people today are living in hopeless situations…Depression has taken over who they once were, a sick body has worn out their beautiful soul, fear has bound them up with no hope for the future, or sadly abuse has stolen their voice and left them a shell of who they once were.

These are just some examples of situations that make us feel so alone. You soon believe the lie that not one person could ever understand what you are going through…or even care for that matter.
These situations…these thoughts…they have the ability to isolate you.

Encouragers have the ability to set these captives free! That "small" gesture you do may just be more powerful than the chains binding them.

Although we don't always know who the hurt ones are around us, we can challenge ourselves to show kindness always. There's a great chance you will impact someone and you may not even know them! How rewarding is that!

I would say, that right there is a "purpose"

If today has you struggling, please don't give up! You may not see it or feel it today, but you are needed! You have a purpose! Someone honestly needs what only you have to offer. My past is made of up many stories, some are memories that painted a beautiful imprint and others were laced with heartache. Both have left their marks upon my heart.

I once was wrapped up in heavy chains and I vividly remember what it felt like not being able to see freedom. My voice was silenced by fear and I had absolutely no hope. It was the people whom God had placed around me that lead me out. They encouraged me! The amazing part here was that at that particular time in my life I wasn't as close to God as I am today, yet He cared so much for me….which is exactly as much as He cares for you 💕

This video (I'm so sorry it's not the greatest quality) was taken at a youth conference we just attended. It is that same beautiful song I shared with you on my last entry! These girls did great capturing the emotion of this song. Enjoy 💕

Sometimes we put such high expectations on this word. The world looks at success as joy. Can money buy this coveted happiness?

 Or does Joy look like a child’s face after opening the gift they’ve waited so long for? 

Maybe… or maybe Joy looks like that same child’s face after they give away that gift to someone who needed it more. Now, I surely am not saying that Joy comes only after we give away our things…if that were the case, I would be rummaging through my house looking for pieces to give away instead of sitting here writing. However, I have found that after I give something or do something for someone else this beautiful emotion fills my heart. It sure feels like joy to me. It feels like an internal smile…the biggest, warmest smile!

As I look around my house right now, my music coming through my speakers,  I see many things that once brought me joy when they were brand new. Things that I thought were so pretty and at first I would display them so very proudly. Every time I would walk in the room, I would be excited at the beauty of this new treasure. 

 After some time though, that treasure would stop standing out. I wouldn’t notice it as much as before. Instead of stopping to appreciate the beauty, it suddenly was average. My once sparkling, beautiful treasure became as plain as the carpeting on the floor…

Where did that feeling go? Why wasn’t it so special to me as it once was? 

I’m sure I’m not alone when I confess I’ve tried to find my joy in relationships, in my possessions, in my profession, in my fur babies….

Although there IS joy in my relationships and also at my job…and I can’t deny that my fur babies definitely lift my mood, but God has been showing me HIS joy! The joy that comes from within. The joy that stands firm and remains even when things want to rip up my world as I knew it. That knowing that no mater what happens, He will fill my heart with joy to get through. 

He promised that joy comes in the morning and I have had to test him on that. Nights have a way of making your mind go on overdrive and joy is like a distant star that I almost don’t even recognize.  It feels hopeless, it hurts, I can’t see the answer…the direction…..yet when I wake up that next morning it feels fresher! The heavy weight from the night before is so much lighter. Yes, I may still be tired, but it seems so much easier to take a breath and rise up to tackle one more day! 

Even in the times when my life feels monotonous and it feels that I do the same exact thing day after day after day after day…I sometimes have to stop myself…

In these mundane tasks it is hard to find joy because I just go through the motions and my mind is seriously either thinking of nothing or it’s grumbling about why people can’t pick up after themselves!! 😆 The joy here is a busy family coming and going! I am working on being thankful for these tasks and messes. ❤️

There is so much evidence in the Bible that tells us just how much Jesus wanted us to be filled with joy… 

Joy comes in the morning

The joy of The Lord is my strength

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart

When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul

Always be joyful

In Your Presence is fullness of joy

There are many others, but the pattern I see here is The Lord knew just how tough things can get so one of the tools he equips us with is joy to get through it all. 

Our lives are busier than the generations before us and our expectations are intense! Sadly, we sometimes get caught up leaping from one event to the next and sometimes we leap right over our joy! 

Today I encourage you to stop even if it’s for only 5 minutes. Think about what brings you joy. 

Something that brought me great joy was when my husband took me to the Mackinaw Bridge. Now, I had been there and gone over it many times in my childhood, but I hadn’t been there in quite a few years. It was so beautiful and I remember as I sat watching the waves roll in that joy filled my heart. It was a moment that I wanted to just stay in. I am a water baby so water brings me the most peace. 

I was so thankful that my husband took me there. I was recovering from a double masectomy and I needed a break from all of the medical that had invaded my space. Brad knew this and gave me a gift that I still treasure to this day and it’s been two years! Abundant joy. 

I pray today that no matter what you are going through, that joy invades your space!! 💕

Well, today I will talk about what the next steps are for me in reguards to my health. Not every post here will be medically related, but some will be as it is part of my story. I’m sure in the posts ahead I will talk about the beginning of this craiziness, but today I will focus on my next steps.  I hope that as you follow my journey you can feel my humor even when it seems impossible to find laughter. God has been my lighthouse during all of this and because of Him, I am filled with joy. I will never lie and tell you it’s been easy because it’s been far from easy. Sometimes it’s been tough. Sometimes it felt tougher than my strength could handle. However, when I am ready to tap out, He is ready to finish the good fight for me.

On to the details…all this medical jargon is so boring, but to give you the full praise report you must first know how hopeless things can sound and look at times.

I recently had an EMG dealing with my autonomic system…I totally had to ask what an autonomic system was! It is the things you never think about. Blinking, your heart rate, your nervous system…pretty much they were correct… I had never thought about it at all!  After I had met with the Stroke Neurologist at the UofM, he had decided I needed this test.

The day of this test we were running early. Well thank goodness because finding the right check in place took SO LONG!! We finally found where they perform EMG’s and I signed in. Before I could even sit down, they told me I wasn’t registered there. That feeling of dread had me thinking…oh no! We just drove almost two hours, my husband took the day off…GULP!!!! She soon figured out that I was having a “special” EMG and sent me back down to the Neuro floor. WHEW!!! Thank goodness I didn’t screw up the day!

So the test came and part of it was uncomfortable, but not too bad. It was long as they performed multiple tests. For the last test, a Neurologist that I hadn’t met came in as it was performed. He explained that I did well on some of the tests, but there was one particular test..a sweat test that I guess I failed on each site. He talked about the possibly of small fiber neuropathy and said he would talk with my Neuro about these results and someone would get back with me. Well, they did and my next step will be seeing that very same Neurologist I met that day. I guess He is a Neuromuscular Specialist and I will be seeing him next month.

Let me take you back just a couple of months so you can understand why I even needed to see this neurologist…

Some of you may know, but others may not that after my last surgery, things just didn’t go quite as planned. Something was seriously wrong because every time I stood up, it felt like I wasn’t getting enough blood to my head and I felt like I was going to pass out. I had episodes like this over and over, even once during church which was so frightening that we decided to go to the local ER. Well, since I had just had a surgery they assumed I was just dehydrated and pumped me with fluids and I was home that evening. Instead of feeling better though, each day I would feel worse until one day even moving positions on the couch made me feel like I was going to pass out. Since I was home alone it was scary because I surely didn’t want my children coming home and finding their mother passed out. One of my sweet friends knew I wasn’t myself and she offered to take me to a different hospital. Well I don’t like relying on people and I had just gone 4 days earlier and was sent home so I almost didn’t go. To make a super long story short I went and was admitted after my blood pressure and heart rate would be unsteady if I stood up or moved.

This picture is definitely not a frame worthy photo, but it clearly shows how much things have improved since this day! Even though this was just over a week after my surgery, I had no pain medications in my system…the look here is sheer exhaustion.

I had no idea at that time what was going on I just knew it was something I had never gone through before. When the feelings would come I knew that I couldn’t panic during those times as that would surely raise my blood pressure so I learned how to soothe myself in times that fear could have easily taken over. I would speak quietly to God telling Him how very much I needed him at that moment. I knew my family was scared and that made me so angry that I couldn’t soothe them with an answer. I tried SO HARD to push myself out of those episodes, but there was literally nothing I could do to change it. My husband saw the weariness and He would sit by the side of that hospital bed and just pray. I was thankful that our church streams live because on that Sunday I needed a boost! That particular Sunday our Pastor’s wife was speaking. I sat on my bed using my iPhone as a personal television and I tuned in. You can clearly see His peace in this picture and this was only a couple days after the picture above! Even though the path ahead is still uncertain, the greatest security lies in the fact that I will never have to walk it alone.

After extensive testing, They came up with the diagnosis of a hole in my heart, mitral valve regurgitation, and a spot on my brain that may have been a stroke. I had to have another test where they went down my throat to look at my heart from an inside view and from that test the cardio team here said that the hole they thought was small was large and there also was moderate shunting which was allowing both my unfiltered and filtered blood to mix and get pumped to all of my organs. Their recommendation was to get this closed by going through my groin immediately and inserting a device to close that hole as another stroke could happen at any time.

HOLD ON!!!!! I am literally a ticking time bomb???

Those words were literally brutal in my mind. I had already gone back to work and even though I was feeling quite dreadful, I was so proud that I was back and being able to talk to others about what they were going through instead of just focusing on my problems helped me tremendously. Now those words had me gripped…how would I know when? What if I was driving my car? What if I was working with one of my school kiddos? To be completely honest at that time I only drove my car to and from work because I didn’t want to be behind the wheel and injure innocent people.

I had all of this information, I had a cardiologist who my husband and I both thought highly of who would implant this device, I had probably the most scary symptoms I have ever had, but what I didn’t have was a peace to go through with this procedure. I know it probably sounds so completely crazy to someone reading this, but I knew I needed more time. A person who was practically told she could have another stroke at any time needs more time??? Was I losing it? A couple of co-workers suggested I get a second opinion and at first that seemed too large of a task because it took so much to get to this point. I didn’t want my family to go through more, but eventually I called the U of M and got right in!

Their opinion at first was that I hold off on the closure until we had the whole picture. My body had gone through a lot and they respected my wishes that I didn’t feel right about getting this device. They are the ones who referred me to the Stroke Neuro for further testing. I actually got to see them all in the same day due to a cancellation so that was nice and during that whirlwind of appointments all in the same day they said the most beautiful words, “You are not a ticking time bomb!”

Thank you, Jesus!!!! What freedom those words offered….driving, exercising again, breathing, FREEDOM!!! I closed my eyes and it felt like I was removing a sash that had the word FEAR across it!

In the meantime I have had just a few tests 😉 and one of which revealed I was allergic to the device that was going to be implanted in the center of my heart!! The allergist said this would have been a disaster if I had would have had the surgery. This small device pictured below would have caused so much turmoil in a system that is already in fight mode:

This is the reason I didn’t have a peace.  God was guiding me onto a different path and even though it looked and felt that I may be traveling in the wrong direction, He continued to hold my hand and guide me forward. I am so thankful for His wisdom. I am thankful He gives great wisdom to doctors when we need them.  I am thankful He gives rest to the weary.

One more positive report came recently! What was called a possible stroke from the scans here was looked at in great detail at the UofM. At this time, the neurologist who specializes in strokes sees that spot on my cerebellum, but he does NOT believe it came from a stroke. We are in the process of figuring out what it actually is, but it not being called a stroke frees me from having to close the hole in my heart at this time in his opinion. The cardio teams are still collaborating on their recommendations, but at this moment it grants my body more time to rest no matter what may come. Each day my body gets even stronger! Because I am allergic to the “easier way” it would probably have to be open heart if we were to focus on the hole. My prayer has and will continue to be complete healing and I hold on to the words He gives others on my behalf. Those words of wisdom increase not only my faith, but the faith of my family as well! Speaking of them, God has blessed me with great love with these people! My husband of 21 years, three beautiful children, and two puff balls we call dogs!! I am surely blessed!!

Thanks for reading more of my story and I am so inspired by the encouragement to keep going! Long ago I started writing a book, but life happened and I put it down. Maybe someday I will pick up where I left off… until then, may God’s peace be upon you! Much love 💕 

I have been working on a blog for so long now that even my iPhone app knew I needed a push! A random update decided it was time to refresh this app and along with that, my posts were deleted. This makes me laugh because why in the world didn’t I just share them? So today, as I look around my messy bedroom with the pressing knowledge of just how many things I need to accomplish, I will sit and start what God placed on my heart so very long ago. Not only will I do that….I’m promising to actually post it NO MATTER if I think it’s post worthy or not 😊

I’m not sure about the timeline here, so I will just start with today. I’m sure there will be times I post about the past events that have led me to where I am and I’m quite certain that who I am today is made up of these reflections from my past. I am believing that as I share my story, God will be faithful to help not only those who read it, but myself as well. I already know sitting here today what I will write about someday. A lump forms in my throat because I have no desire at this point to write about certain memories, but I will forge ahead with obedience and I know when he says, “Go,” all of the tools, including strength for me will be in place. God has made all of these pieces fit into the person I am today and although I am so far from perfect, He continues to use me right where I’m at.

Today’s battle at hand…my physical body

AHHHHHH! It has been a whirlwind of events for just over two years and my body has seriously taken one hit after another. 5 big surgeries in two years does an overhaul on how you feel daily. Even the strongest of determination can fall short.

In the physical I have lost many pieces of myself (my breasts, lymph nodes, and uterus just to name a few 😉) and even through I don’t really think about what I have gone through, I can see and feel the the repercussions. My body is in an overhaul at the moment and I have to keep my mind above these symptoms because if I give them the time of day, I could very easily talk myself into shutting down and then I would be no good for anyone!!

After my last surgery, after they found EVEN MORE wrong with me, after the 14 pound weight gain in just ONE month after working SO HARD in the gym, after this failed test, and that failed test, after that bad result, that abnormality, after all of these new specialists were added to my menu when I already had enough doctors for 10 people….I crumbled! I had had enough!

In the past I’ve been pretty good with going through the motions, but this last battle did something inside of me. I was SO very tired and I just didn’t want to soldier through anymore. All of these inconveniences and I’m still supposed to maintain some sort of normalcy for my family…. it just seemed so overwhelming at times. I would wonder why there were so many health issues that arose suddenly in my world. It seemed that for every battle I conquered, another was waiting in the shadows. With every victory  my excitement shouted for all to hear….My strength would get stronger and stronger and then I would be blindsided by something else!! I seriously think I should win the Planet Fitness person of the year just based on how many times I have had to start from stratch 😆 (I really don’t even know if this is a true award, but I feel I’ve already won it!)
In all honesty, even though I was faithful and I KNEW his promises I still found myself asking…

What is the purpose, God? This can’t be your best for me!

I’m sure just like me, you have found yourself at a crossroad at some point (or many) in your life. I have had a few of these moments and I am so grateful that God finds me when I feel stranded. For me personally, He uses people, music, nature and writing to get my attention. For instance, a couple nights ago I was at the gym and to put it mildly it was a challenge. I could feel my joints and nerve endings with every step and it was hard to be encouraged to keep going!! Not a coincidence that two days before I was buying various albums for our youth services when the band wasn’t available. I bought so much music that day that I never went through each song. Well in God’s perfect timing, ‘You’re going to be OK’ by Jenn Johnson came through my playlist (link below). Now remember I am at the gym…to be accurate, my favorite part of the gym which is the massage chair, but that’s beside the point…SO I’m getting a massage and my full attention is on the lyrics of this beautiful song. It was one of those moments when you just soak up what God is promising. like this song was written just for ME!! As the tears formed in the corner of my eyes, I knew I was going to be ok!

Even though my body was seriously trying to suck the life out of me…even though my joy was getting harder to find…even though it required more effort to smile because smiling is hard when it hurts….God kept pressing upon my heart to not give up my hope for a brighter day. He created me to be victorious! Sometimes I just need reminders…. A LOT of reminders!

There is a whole list of things I cannot change, so I decided to make a list of things I CAN CHANGE!

1.  I can continue to go to the gym. Yes, at this moment it seems almost silly when it hurts (no pain, no gain…right?😉) I figure anything I can do there, no matter how small is forward motion and going forward is much better than sitting idle! *** praise report*** when I first went back to the gym I couldn’t even let my heart rate go over 105 and I literally had to hold on to the treadmill as if I were hanging from a cliff….well last night it was 129 and although I didn’t feel perfect…I stayed standing and a couple of times I even had a little dance in my walk!!!!!! Thankful moment right there 😊

2. I can change my habits. This is huge!! From how I speak to how I eat… I am happy to report I have made a step to eat better. I was already a pretty healthy eater… I even earned the title of hippie from my husband, but I knew there had to be something I was missing and if nothing else, I’m learning to listen to how I feel and figure out what I can do to help! I realized that I felt a bit worse when I eat a lot of gluten so I am trying to gradually minimize this and see if there are any improvements. I’ll keep you updated on that one 😊

3. I can take the diagnosises as knowledge instead of a label. This gives me control when I feel at a loss. When I feel the effects, I build myself up with vitamins and minerals. That along with my faith puts me in the driver’s seat. I have many labels on my medical record and I’ll probably never be able to buy a reasonable life insurance plan, but God’s insurance is much more secure! It is not His will that my body is struggling. I will continue to press forward in my walk of faith! I am so tremendously thankful for the relationship I have with Him…Without it I know FOR SURE I would have given up. When I have been depleted, He has carried me and filled me with His strength. My world lately has been very unstable to say the least, yet He has remained the constant. His promises provide the most solid foundation even when the storms of life come ripping through.

4. I can use this journey to help others. If you need prayer or someone just to listen, feel free to send me a message. In the many trials I have walked through lately, one of the gifts to me has been the many connections that have been made because of them. Both with new friendships and the strengthing of others. My heart feels like a patchwork quilt made up of each person that has enriched my life over the years. Each piece is beautifully unique and I am forever grateful for each and every one!!

God bless you and thank you for taking your time to read a snippet of my life. 

Here’s the link to the song mentioned above: https://youtu.be/F-1nFAae5To